What I mean in this: It seems I can rarely write anything on the spot. In all of my writing classes, we're given some kind of in-class writing assignment, and often I find myself drawing a blank. I don't know if it's the pressure of knowing I only have a few minutes that freezes me up or that I'm too critical of the ideas that come into my head. The fact is, I get very little accomplished, if anything. Along with that, I feel like I can rarely write with a pen and paper. I NEED a computer. I don't know why I just do. And I need to be in a room, alone.
So then the question becomes: If I'm at a computer, alone, with time to consider what I want to write about, what do I do? Most of the time, I've spent some time considering the assignment before I sit down to write, so I already have a pretty clear idea of what I want to do. But sometimes, I don't know. So I just sit there, and stare at the screen, thinking and thinking, and eventually I usually come up with something. I can't remember which essay it was, but one of the author's in Inventing the Truth mentioned something about simply thinking hard about the writing as being hard work, and I agree. The problem is, sometimes I just feel like I'm getting nowhere.
That said, I think it's time for me to consider Ballenger's ideas in "The Importance of Writing Badly". He says, "Giving myself permission to write badly makes it much more likely that I will write what I don't expect to write, and from those surprises come some of my best writing." When I'm stuck, I need to just do it, just sit down and write. Even if it's just writing it out like a journal, get SOMETHING down. Maybe then I won't become so frustrated when I don't know what to write. Because sitting and thinking can be helpful and it can definitely be work, but sometimes it just feels like I'm getting nowhere.
For those of you that read this: What's your writing process like? Are there certain conditions for you that must be met before you can write?
4 comments:
My writing process is pretty helter skelter. My mind, too, seems to go completely blank as soon as I am confronted with an in-class writing assignment. Overall, the most important things for me when it comes to writing is having time to process and ponder. I seem to get a lot more accomplished when I have had time to roll ideas around in my head, even if it's not something I do consciously each time. Apparently I also mutter to myself when I am writing. I work better with a computer when it is something I need to write, something with intention. But for me, I write with more fervor in journal-y type writing if I have a pen and paper. For some reason, I find it difficult to write in pencil when writing for myself. Something about just getting the words out on paper and knowing that I can go back and re-write later. My on-computer writing is much more calculated because I edit/revise as I type. Therefore, the short answer: my methods depend on my end goal. :)
I also have trouble writing on the spot, which is one of the reasons I found your post interesting. It is so hard sometimes just to put pen to paper with no previous thought! Also, you are not alone in being unmotivated...not only is it hard to find the time to write outside of class work, but sometimes I feel I am not sure what to write about! Hopefully this blog will give us both more experience writing freely!
Have you ever tried just freewriting for 5 or 10 minutes as a warm up? Or any sort of warm-up may do. An athlete would never think of running before doing a good stretch to loosen up the muscles. It probably works the same way for our brain. Just something to get the words and ideas flowing and your brain loosened up might do the trick.
Hi Breana!
For some reason, it won't let me comment on your most recent blogpost...you may want to check that out. I can't even get to the comments section. So instead, I'm going to comment here.
I completely respect your decision to steer away from writing about that painful relationship. I seem to have the opposite problem - almost every essay I write is about a failed/abusive/unhealthy/bizarre relationship I've had in the past. I literally cannot stop writing about ex-boyfriends. In fact, my memoir for this class is a humor piece on the first time I had a crush on a boy. Writing through it forces me to relieve those weird/sometimes terrible memories and for some reason some part of me longs for that - I think it makes me remember what I came through and how I got to the point at which I'm living now. But that being said, I feel like you did the right thing when it came to your situation. You seem really happy exploring the new topic you've chosen...and isn't that the point of writing? Why write if it's not pleasurable? Even when I'm writing about past relationships and reliving some of that pain I still enjoy doing it - it's not so terrible that I'm putting myself through emotional misery or anything. I'm glad you're enjoying your new topic - I'm sure your memoir will turn out much better because of it. AND you'll be happy! :)
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